Child Refuses To Do Homework
I know from experience how easy it is to get caught up in power struggles over homework. These struggles begin for several reasons, but the most common one is because your child would rather be relaxing, playing, texting with friends, or doing almost anything else. Know that if you deal with their frustration by losing it and getting mad out of your own frustration, it will be a losing battle. Some kids are even able to manipulate parents this way, because they know the battle over homework may result in your giving up on expectations to get it done.
child refuses to do homework
*If you go through your local school district, be prepared to deal with school administrators who may try to talk you into putting your child into public school! Not all school districts behave that way, but some do! If you have trouble dealing with that kind of situation, have a friend or relative go with you to the school or help you make phone calls.
When my son (who has graduated from our homeschool and is now 20 years old) went through a stage when he refused to do his school work, I had to take action. I had his eyesight, hearing, and vision tested. I also had educational testing done. I had already suspected that he was mildly autistic and therefore knew he might have a harder time learning than other students. (Although many children on the autism spectrum are very smart, it can be very hard for them to pay attention, process information, ignore distractions, etc.)
I have been through this with a couple of my children. You are so right, figuring out the root cause is the first step, then be consistent. Wonderful advice, thank you.Shared on Facebook and Twitter.
Sometimes it just comes with age and being consistent that they finally start doing better. Making a daily to do list has been a game changer for my distractible child though! When she knows what to expect she can get through it all more easily.
My son is 14, he struggles but if we let him work in his room away from his siblings he copes much better. Also to work at his pace. Yes i want my children to always try their hardest but i also want my children to be kind.
This is my current situation! I have 7 at home and 5 homeschooling. 2 have autism and we are having the hardest time finding ways to help each child learn in their own way. These tips were helpful and I will check into each. Homeschooling is so rewarding once it clicks for each child. Thank you for your page!!!
Being a mother of 7 we definately have days where at least one child is just not having it. It is taxing at times but this article is great in knowing its not just us that struggle and has some great ideas to re dirrect. Along with understanding other parts of it.
Thank you for this. I am starting on the homeschool adventure and this is something I think about even though I have taught for 15 years. I know it is different teaching your own child. I am excited for this new step.
Love this article! Been going through this with both of my children. I have switched from a block time table system to a notebooking system and so far it is working good. I think they (especially my son) will benefit more this way. My daughter may need a different system at some point and you provided some good examples and how to discuss it with her. Thank you!
This is really great advice. It can be so easy to assume your child is being lazy or not trying. Being able to step back from your own frustration to evaluate the possible issue causing the situation can be very difficult.
i,m wondering about when the child takes it further, without any intervention concerning his refusal and starts making noises, and moving his chair, desk and basically anything while I,m still circulating or returning to the whole class lesson?
1- I got super anxious because I did not wanna fail. I wanted it to be a great work and if I fared I would fail, I would not wanna start. But I was not aware this was one of the reasons before I became an adult. A child most probably does not know what blocks them or makes them scared/anxious.
4- Instances where I did not understand the point of the assignment. this would automatically make me feel the teacher was incompetent. And I just did not wanna participate because I felt it was a pointless assignment and the teacher clearly did not know what she/he was doing. Believe me, even a middle school child is able to assess the quality of an assigment or the teacher, I know I did.
After all, what choice did I have? From the very early days in the private nursery she attended, I found myself surrounded by lots of other mothers locked into the same race to make their children the brightest and the best.
Surveys have found that homework is the single biggest source of friction between children and parents. One survey found that forty percent of kids say they have cried during rows over it. Even that figure seems like a dramatic underestimate.
While some children will do everything to avoid doing it, at the extreme others will become perfectionists who have to be persuaded to go to bed. Some moms I spoke to had to bribe their children to do less!
Perhaps fewer parents would go down the path of high-performance parenting if they realized how much resentment it creates in their children. The irony is that all this obsession with pushing our kids towards success, pushes away the very people we are trying to help.
Once established, failure can also become self-reinforcing. Even when they get good marks, children like Lily still dwell on the pupil who got the higher one to support their negative views of their abilities, making it a self-perpetuating downward spiral.
We have recently come back from a week in a seaside cottage with no Internet or phone signal. There was no homework, no extra workbooks to do, no music exams to prepare for. Nor did we use our vacation as a catch-up period to prepare the girls to get ahead.
Back in the cottage, we sat around and read books that interested us. I let the children play upstairs for hours, not on their phones, but in long elaborate role-plays, without feeling the need to interrupt once.
1. Try to stay calm2. Set clear expectation around homework time and responsibilities.3. Play the parental role most useful to your child.4. Keep activities similar with all your kids.5. Start early and Offer empathy and support.6. Use positive reinforcement and incentives.
Very helpful information, my son who is 7 is not the biggest fan of homework. It does depend on the evening and last night was a doozy! He usually has Math every second day which is a review sheet from what they did in class. He acts out, lack of focus, complains that he is tired etc.
Last school year after Spring Break I had finally had enough, and decided homework would get done on my terms, I wanted my happy go lucky son back, so some nights we did not do homework, knowing that on nights that we did there would be more. That seemed to work.
I think that if the child does not want to do homework, then everything is fine. I still do not know a single child who would like to do homework. I read the article that homework kills creativity, and I quite agree with that. After all, the child instead of spending time for something really interesting, should do boring homework. When I have a son, I will allow him not to do homework, but in exchange I will tell him that he must be interested in something that really will benefit him in development. Thank you for this article!
I am brother of a 12 year old boy studying in seventh grade.I find him not getting interested in studying or doing homework after coming home from school.He is worried more about video games and TV.He get to do his home works only after continuous pressure from parents.He is very attentive,obedient and performs well in school.But at home , he says he need to rest from studies. I hope this tips will help him to get more involved in studies!
I think that the real reasons why the child does not do their homework can be very many of them all of their parents will never know. The main thing is to be able to find a common language in your child!
Hi, there! Great article! I heard that web design is now one of the most sought-after professions and if your children do not know who they would like to work, then go to the site and they will see how great this profession is!
It's not uncommon for kids to be unexcited about doing homework. For some kids, this lack of enthusiasm translates into putting off homework or drudging through assignments until they are completed. However, for some students, their negative attitude towards homework can be more extreme. It can even take the form of homework refusal. Homework refusal happens when a child completely refuses to do their assignments. This can turn into a regular, routine struggle with parents. It can make the time spent at home unpleasant, emotional and stressful.
If you are experiencing homework refusal from your child, it can help you to understand what's going on with them. Once you have a clear idea about what's causing the protest, you can focus on a solution. Alleviating the homework struggle can make home life much more pleasant and low-stress for everyone.
There are many potential causes of homework refusal. Some of them are purely behavioral. Others are neurological. By determining what's causing the resistance, you can address it in the right way. Here are some common neurological or executive functioning issues that cause homework struggles. Consider whether one of these is the culprit behind homework refusal, rather than laziness:
Your child might be struggling with a learning disorder or challenge that is causing them to avoid doing their work. A learning issue can make the work feel impossible and overwhelming, and they'd rather not face it than try to struggle through. If you suspect this is the case for your child, have them tested. A test may reveal that they are dyslexic or struggle with attention issues. Once diagnosed, problems like these can be addressed appropriately.